doing something i thought was done

To right a wrong is a difficult thing, it requires humility and lowliness and sometimes pain is all it can bring. But see, I know I've done you wrong and I want to tell you this...that you and your you-ness is something I will forever miss. I know the way it all ended, with it all crashing down around us is entirely my fault, and somehow I expected that you might never quite heal as a terrible result. But now I see that you've moved on and it brings me mixed emotions. I'm proud of you that you give new things your complete devotion, and I see now that you're a bigger person than I expected this would let you be. But no matter how hard I try to let go and go on, there's a tugging deep inside that tells me maybe it's my turn to cry. Maybe now that you're okay I can tell you this game I play is the only way I hold on and stop myself from admitting that when we parted ways, something inside me decided to die. SO...I want to apologize with all the sincerity of my heart - the way I hurt you is something I can't take back and I won't lie and tell you I did it on accident...but looking back now I see that you gave me more of yourself than I realized and I'm sorry for each and every way that I let you down and broke your heart. Maybe now it's my turn to start learning how to move on. I'm sorry...