I Am

I am the red and blue lights in my rearview mirror,
I am the shattered glass that cuts deep,
Not just physically, but to the core.
I am the broken mirror from, once again, slamming the door.

I am a wilted flower; a misfit – in your perfect garden,
I am an over-stayed welcome where I thought I’d forever belong.
I am the middle child, the screw up, the one who is always questioned.
I am everything you never wanted,
I am the mistake that screwed up your beautiful painting.
I am the unfulfillment in your fulfilled household,
I am a wrong turn,
I am every chance that is blown.
I am the broken promises, so thoughtlessly spoken,
the ones that hurt so bad; the ones that leave me cut wide open.

I am the tears falling from my blue eyes,
releasing all the pain within.
I am guilty of a terrible crime,
Being this bad of a daughter is an appalling sin.
I am the failure that is always reaching for success, but never quite gets there.
I am the apology unaccepted,
I am the impossible, given up on, prayer.

I am every scraped knee, every broken heart,
I am the reason my family has fallen apart.
I am a flame, burned out of my light,
I am the back against the wall, tired of all these fights.

I am the tear stained paper that I am writing on,
It’s my only escape, my only control,
I am the shiny object that dwells deep in my past,
Taunting and teasing, “come back to me, I made you whole”.
I am the chance to give in,
but I stand strong and won’t let my past win.
I am the fake smiles, the fake laughs, and not to mention the false love,
I am all the answers that I need from above.
I am the disappointment that's as thick as honey in your eyes,
I am the unseen tears, the unheard cries.

I am what I am,
and I don’t see why you don’t understand.