Wednesday, August 29, 2007

love is...

and love is this pensive passionate indignant way we convulse in the dark
something to hold dear and talk about our relations when your back did arc
so blindly did you follow, so long were you docile
indoctrinated by the world that you thought would never again revolve
keep the clarity clear and the hallucinations on call
you'll never again be able to feel a feeling like his enveloping arms
wrapping your body with decomposing promises he fed to the charms
they eat with impunity of your indicative nature you produce with alarm
aftermath rises from your broken tears that shatter the sky in revolving times
clock hands shifting slowly while we miss each others broken insanity
lingering here in your shadow of the decisions you made hastily
a whole new comparison for your hopeful interactions with vacancy
will keep me here in my position; a wall away from your divinity
give me one kiss and i'll give two back that's really all i ask


~No give backs. love plays for keeps.

Love,
Digress.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I DIDN'T EVEN WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS

its just the first week and i'm sick of how bad you suck
give me the letters and empty your brain on my stuff
going slowly insane is my only occupation
alone in a room with vestiges of the intimidation
no mental preparation and not a hint of inclination
to meditate or move on my own fate, i'm acting out of state
placed for the first time in a challenging situation
never before have i faced this sort of self-degradation
hate myself for not living myself, and being overcome with information
tell me once more how i can avoid this discouraging sensation

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

I want to say thank you to the lovers that i miss
for being there with me through all my life's twists
but not paying enough attention while i clench my fists
grab a razor this ink is the same as cuts lining my wrists
i want to evaporate and never come back again
just because i can't seem to find people who relate to my slain
don't you see this life is full of pain? but they're blind and vain
its been a long time since i've been on the verge of crying
and this life is taking me to that crime
bottled feelings seem to be my soul's protection
it seems like now i'll never find my life's proper direction

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

i confide in myself for not loving myself, and live in regret
the kids down the hall seem to love each other willingly
i'm whisky drinking with no support from their calamity
sitting all alone never felt so alone with this death grip of my past
it was the lovers that i wish my apathy could outlast
not again will i be able to look with a straight face
strewn about because right now i can't keep a pace
i've got my own brand new place, bottom of the list
bottom peg, forced on the last shelf, and i start with myself
paranoia and insanity breeding in my northern region hell
i'm burning rubber to get out of here, but i'm going nowhere.
burning rubber to evaporate, but this is my fate.

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

~Roughly cut, my prision is...

Love,
Digress.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Setting:
He plays his heart out,
With everything at hand,
He asks him self what this is about,
Its always the same pain,
Magic happens with-in his skin,
Though he has no one to blame,
He l i v e s for his music,
With out that he would die,
His only passion,
Though some aren't his fashion,
He fancy's his voice,
He has no choice,
He plays for me,
As he comes to see,
I know what he really means.
He screams his emotions,
With every living
devotion.
Delievring the effect of life,
The meaning to his past,
And our pleasnt future.
Again he strums,
He drums,
I wink,
With in
one
split
blink.
Reality.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

the first days

sitting here in this little room makes me miss colorado
and my mom
and the snow
and a palm trees isn't quite the same as a colorado blue spruce
growing up is one of those things that everyone does
but i feel so alone
it's one of those things that'll pass
but right now
i need familiarity
so i'm coming to a place i know
to feel lonely

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Black Branches, Colored Carpets, and Buttprints in the Sand

Memories not wanting to be forgotten
are falling down my face,
followed by relationships
I don’t want to leave behind.
Creating jagged branches of black
that spread across my face
then descend to the floor,
staining the once white carpet.

Who gets white carpet anyways?
It only gets dirty and worn.
Black.
Now that’s more like it.
No need to hide my life stains –
they just blend in.
Maybe blue carpet,
to hide my tears of sadness,
or red to hide the nights of pain;
maybe a fading pink,
from the nights my heart felt so brutally slain.
And green to hide my envy
of who he was with instead of me.
Purple carpet to hide all my restless nights
or all my broken dreams
that might as well have been artificial;
or perhaps carpet the color of an orange rose,
to hide the tears I shed
desiring to be good enough for once.
Colors I wish were there,
so my life stains weren’t visible
for everyone to see.
But I’m stuck with white –
showing all that I’ve gone through -
my jaded innocence.

Grazing my hand across my face,
I smear the black branches
into streaks of uncertainty;
sheets of tears continuing down,
making the streaks of uncertainty
start to droop and deform –
once again re-organizing
into a tangled mess of jagged,
this time broken,
black branches.

I’m back where I started,
no further ahead,
but maybe a little further behind;
tears fearing the unknown
still falling from my eyes.
I’ve got no where to hide them
as they fall gracefully,
discoloring where they land.
I fear where I’m going,
even more that I’m going no where,
and just making buttprints in the sand.

Monday, August 06, 2007

One more party

And its broken hearted industy
Brake lights bleed so invisibly
Stuck inside your tyrany
And all you do is stare at me
Cause im so scared of what we could be
And wish that you could see
Just wish that you could see..

And we tried to fall apart
both broke are hearts
And whenever we start
We fall just off the mark
Twice lost in the dark
Broke unable to start
Still wanting to start

What happens when the song ends
Cause I can see, its to strong to bend
Ran out of all your strength to lend
The pen break again
And we’re both hurt again

Sunday, August 05, 2007

i've said it before

just before i say goodbye i wanna say thanks
thanks for watching me grow
and letting me show
a new side of me

thanks for being you,
unafraid to be true,
and showing me that new...
can be beautiful

thanks for seeing me for me
and helping me believe
in who me could be

so many more things to thank you for...
but you know i'm (not?) one for many words
so here i wanna say "thank you"
most sincerely
and goodbye
and i'll miss our 7 o'clock talks

~peace out, b.b.b.b.
from the b.b.e.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

heaven

On the counter
A little slice of heaven
Just for me

yEStERYEar