I DIDN'T EVEN WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS

its just the first week and i'm sick of how bad you suck
give me the letters and empty your brain on my stuff
going slowly insane is my only occupation
alone in a room with vestiges of the intimidation
no mental preparation and not a hint of inclination
to meditate or move on my own fate, i'm acting out of state
placed for the first time in a challenging situation
never before have i faced this sort of self-degradation
hate myself for not living myself, and being overcome with information
tell me once more how i can avoid this discouraging sensation

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

I want to say thank you to the lovers that i miss
for being there with me through all my life's twists
but not paying enough attention while i clench my fists
grab a razor this ink is the same as cuts lining my wrists
i want to evaporate and never come back again
just because i can't seem to find people who relate to my slain
don't you see this life is full of pain? but they're blind and vain
its been a long time since i've been on the verge of crying
and this life is taking me to that crime
bottled feelings seem to be my soul's protection
it seems like now i'll never find my life's proper direction

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

i confide in myself for not loving myself, and live in regret
the kids down the hall seem to love each other willingly
i'm whisky drinking with no support from their calamity
sitting all alone never felt so alone with this death grip of my past
it was the lovers that i wish my apathy could outlast
not again will i be able to look with a straight face
strewn about because right now i can't keep a pace
i've got my own brand new place, bottom of the list
bottom peg, forced on the last shelf, and i start with myself
paranoia and insanity breeding in my northern region hell
i'm burning rubber to get out of here, but i'm going nowhere.
burning rubber to evaporate, but this is my fate.

well the wind's at my back but i hold clenched fists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
walking through the visions of the mistakes on my wrists
I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS
well the wind's blowing me down and i'm off your list
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO F****NG KNOW THIS

~Roughly cut, my prision is...

Love,
Digress.