16 Hours Straight

i don't know if you know
but i've been watching from afar
and i don't really comprehend why you'd do
such a pitiful thing

i don't know if you know
but i've been watching from up close
attempting to deliberate who and what
needs you more

i don't know if you know
but i've been watching from right here
and if you ever try to cross paths
then i'll have to explode with impunity

i don't know if you know
but just the shape of your face
has been driving me insane
we have become enemies

i don't know if you know
but these last twenty four hours
have housed my distrust for you
and i realize once again, you are a rat

i don't know if you know
but there's something i need to tell
you're an ass and you have no class
some think it is, but i don't think its funny

i don't know if you know
but i'm about three inches away
from cutting all ties, friendship and all
beacuse you don't control yourself.

~I assume its natural to get sick of people. but who truely knows what nature is?

Love,
Digress.

Rearrange

I can smell your skin on mine.
I need protection.
Its personal.
Time to grow up Maegan.
Wake up,
Make up,
No more baby steps.
Theres no happy ending
yet
is there.
You're no more playground time.
I need you.
Yet
This has nothing to do with you.
Grow up.
Grow up.
Though im a mear 18,
Cant I be six again?
If there is a tear
drop
under my eye,
(Big girls dont cry).
If there is heart ache in
sight,
(I fake a smile)
It makes me shiver
to
the
bone.
You know
You know
You know
I never
c
r
y.
But baby,
My hearts a virgin
it aint
ever
been tried.

like pages from a book

It was a beautiful crash,
me
into you
all the colors and shattered explosions that erupted
like a volcano, unstoppable and phenomenal
It was indescribable
me
with you
the passionate and insatiable, ever-amplifying
hunger

It's a shame, really...
me
without you,
us
without us
Who knows...maybe you were(are) my prince charming

my [your] baggage

what i wanted to say
you took me all away
with those words
i couldn't read write or breath
you feed me all your lies
beneath the sky
lies the one you knew before.
you left me here
fearing for yourself
the friendship that we have lost
you just tossed it all away
makes me wonder
how much is under
all the baggage
you left with me to stay.


-i have returned.

still not everything i want to say, but it'll do for now

what do you say when your mind is blocked
when the letters won't go
together
to form words that just won't flow
in eachother

how can i long for a person
who was there when i didn't care
how can i miss a place
i came from, ran away from
how can i lose my ability to speak
to you, about you

and me


this isn't a silly infatuation
it's a true emotion
,like a convulsion
of my heart

and now,
i want you to hold me, i want to know if i'm on a one-way street...but i kinda don't care.
because i remember what it's like
to have a best friend
i miss what it's like

I Remember Her

i once fell in love with a girl

i was working at the time
she was ordering
a bowl of something
i don't know
i was cleaning
i locked eyes with her
and i fell in love with her for her brown hair
and gorgeous face
deep eyes that reflected light in perfect
kaleidoscope effects
she looked back at me with the same longing
i wonder if she knows how much she scared me
maybe i scared her back... i don't know
but we caught sideways glances at each other
every once in a while
while she was eating
and i was preparing food
leaving my station to
catch glimpses of her
she was with her family
and hard to approach
tactfully
then
in an instant
she was gone
i wonder what happened to her
who she was
what she was
if she even looked at me with the same longing
i still remember her.

~I don't know what to do with myself.

Love,
Digress.

Hi humans, I'm back in the desk again. I read over 2,000 pages in June and I will exceed that in July. Enough about me. Here are some pics. My original room was HO-rif-fic! I/we now have an apartment.

what comes next

It's easier to let go when you've changed
hurts less, painless, effortless
But I saw you once and you're the same old you
and so these feelings inside got rearranged

We heard that song in the car and we both smiled
cuz what's better than a memory that's been stored away and filed
It's too late to go back and what's the point in moving on
when we don't want to

Screw the rules about cheating
hearts
I hate settling
I won't be complacent I won't be content I won't...
forget about you

Me and you, we go together like one and two
right next to one another
like someone placed us there
said 'that looks good right there'


So we dance this one last number
we hold each other tight
Something about it is forbidden
something wrong about this right


you feel so right

Perhaps it is I who should be asking....

What Now...

I'm lost again
I thought this would mend
But, you see, there's something there
Some part of me with you and you with me

Two years plus one to the day
Yet I remember like yesterday
the way we would play
And now it has been so long since I've seen you smile
Such a long while since that beautiful smile
I saw it again and the world got brighter
I was back where I grew
Back in what I knew

But I should be mad, should I not?
A broken heart is what I got
Words of apology come readily
They fill a tare and your smile begins to ware

It's too easy to forgive and it frustrates me
Can you see I don't know who I want to be?
And you say you miss the view
the reason too
And I miss you
So I'm torn in two
I don't know what to do

You run in my mind as these days get so long
And you're in every song
I play in my head things that used to be
And I'm confused, see, cuz you were never one for complacency
That's not who you used to be

So I sit, again, thinking thoughts to send
All I think is I thought this would mend
And I want to see you again.