Trying to let you go, one last time

Don't blame me for the contradictory after thoughts, they were just the pictures drawn from ill advised connecting dots. You should have guided me as we moved further down the page, but the image meant for happiness now looks more like rage. Easter a year ago, the day you let me go, but every single day that night grows as an obstacle. I hide the cigarette i'm smoking as I'm smoking for your memory, I've just moved it from the hill tops down to the balconies.

Writing has hit a wall, and it's all her fault

Pallor of the Afternoon Sunlight.

We are overexposed

my daydreams have purpose

you unhealthy distraction

I want to exchange embrace

for what is yet to taste

I see the expression on your face

I feel the sensation of your place

I want to be wallet-sized

take me along on your car rides

tell me secrets from your past lives

meet me on my doorstep when you arrive.

~Keeping it simple is very difficult.

Love,

Digress.

Sightful

I'm no stranger to the rain.
The key to mother nature is in reach,
she has given me the key.
My emotions can be seen.
Open your eyes and you will see,
moods wander about the seas.

I am Attracted to Morbidity.

I want to hear the dark

Grimy

Dank

Voice of the underappreciated.

I want to see the morbid

Disconcerted

Languid

Thoughts of the lonely.

I want to feel the strained

Carnal

Sadist

Gaze of gunmetal eyes.

I want to smell the tragic

Ragged

Destructive

Ambivalence of the huddled masses.

I have a sense of lugubrious

Stark

Charred

Anguish for your blood-stained heart.

~I want something that will pull tears.

Love,

Digress.

Purloined Pencils Strewn About

Purloined pencils

Write the best stories.

Tell the best stories.

I have hundreds of pens,

A few pencils, and a few stories

But I didn't steal any of them.

~Arms thrown up.

Serenity now,

Digress.

I wanna write a letter

Dear Writer,

Write a letter.

Remembering You

I'm remembering you
the way a foster kid remembers his first bed
The way an autumn leaf remembers green,
the way tigers in the zoo remember the jungle
Summer nights are so dark between firefly blinks
my heart is dark between the holes you left
remembering you is a smell and a word
a cactus spine i stepped on, stepped through
my heart lost its job when it couldn't pump for you anymore
i don't feel the recession in my bank account
only in my empty chest my empty bed my empty eyes
I see you in my hands lines zigzag and we matched
painted lines on our lines
yours were blue and mine were yellow we put our hands together and we were green
Green.
You promised our baby's room would be green because who wants a typical pink or blue room
anyways?
Said we could name them whatever we wanted and how incredible is that
Remembering you is gravel back yards and clothes drying in the sun
dusty dogs and ravine ditches
our spot was back behind the zoo away from the gardens
you always Sucked at romance
I see you when I close my heart at night
all lips and eyes and those hands that warmed mine
I don't regret you lover, I never could
You took a piece of my heart the way you bit into the first cookie I made you
took a bite said mmmmm baby. i'll keep you around
Sometimes lover, sometimes I miss your ungelled hair
I miss your morning breath waking up to me reading you a picture book
I wish I could frame your smile I'd tattoo it on my heart
You made me bold, we defied that word called "normal"
I tamed your wild when I let you hold me
introduced you to my teddy bear and let you curl my hair
played show and tell all night having flashlight bedsheet tent giggle fits
There's a part of me that went missing the day you left
like sunflowers follow the sun, always facing. facing the light
some days my breath can't find your smile to follow and it falls
falters, breaks, stops
but mostly
I carry my prayer.
Remembering you helps me see their faces better
These kids with scary futures and angry faces
"help me heal"
these babes answer my prayer daily
and you sit and tick tick tick time away
I miss you daily, forget you daily
"break me burn me leave me stranded....."
leave my heart in the mailbox when you're finished

Sunny Afternoons Are

The final tightening turn

of a screw

The sound of the shutter opening on

a single-lens-reflex camera

The steam from freshly-cooked Penne pasta

poured into a colander

The distant whistle of a train horn

while the stars set and the moon dies

Opening the door in the early mornings of September

to find Katydids crawling on your house

The first cut into a rarely cooked

18 oz New York Strip steak

The way your hand fits into mine

as we walk around the park

A white Ferrari in 2nd gear at

8500 RPM

The heart throbs and beading sweat

after a five kilometre run

Purchasing something worth $24,000

in cash

The difference between an Australian accent

and a New Zealand accent

Crisp, light, and cool white sheets

enveloping a body after a long day on the beech

Frogs croaking at midnight

on an idyllic shore

Pulling a friend to the next

bracket of success

Grabbing the gearshift, depressing the clutch, relaxing the throttle,

then pulling down on the knob for a lower gear

Witnessing the master-slave dialogue in

the criticism of an educator

Arriving home to find

a delivered package

~Waiting for shoes.

Love,

Digress.