memoir 2.0

this is the memoir that i turned in. about my year as a freshmen, constructive criticism would be cool (sorry for long post):

My freshmen year of high school was an eventful one in my life. I had entered high school with aspirations and wanted to get involved with the school because it seemed like a good way to meet people. That year while I was a freshman, I could not find my way around Columbine because it seemed like it was much larger place than Ken Caryl middle school. I remember wondering how I would find my way through the school. At registration I hoped there would be someone, at least one person, I knew in any of my periods that I could hang around with and relate to. “Links”, where the seniors and juniors helped us to become familiar with the school, made me nervous too. I was lucky because both my Links leaders were very cool. When I saw kids going to the Gym in crazy costumes I thought to myself “Holy crap…what the hell is all this?” After the “Links” assembly was over, I waited for my Mom outside. I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I went to see if there were any other kids I knew that I could talk to. A bunch of kids standing around with their friends, but I couldn’t find anyone I recognized so I sat on one of the rocks out front. When my Mom picked me up I was excited but nervous hoping that I would know someone in any of my periods. When the first day came I carried my schedule around the whole day and had trouble finding some classes. I asked random people as to where some of my classes were. When I was walking through Columbine I loved how everything looked. It was better than Ken Caryl in almost every way I thought. The halls were way wider, we had a cool library, an elevator, a huge auditorium, and the commons were big too. During my off hours I didn’t know anyone. I was very shy (and still am to a degree) and spent the first two weeks not hanging out with anyone during off periods or lunch periods. Finally, one day I saw these kids playing this card game so I decided to actually go over there. My knees where shaking almost, but I finally went over to ask if I could play cards with them. After they had said yes that’s where I spent the rest of the first semester on my off periods. I had decided from early on that I wanted to actually apply myself Freshmen year because in middle school I hadn’t been in any extracurricular activities and got mediocre grades. I figured that I would try out activities to meet people and improve my work ethic. I was thinking about what sports I could possibly do. I knew my hand-eye coordination wasn’t that great, so I decided to go into Cross Country. After I had signed up, the first day I got there I went up to the coach Thielking in my hiking boots and pants and asked if I could run. He told me that I’d probably die because of what I was dressed up in, and he was right. Even though I sucked horribly at running I still was proud that I actually kept on running for a distance. Before that day the longest I ran was in sixth grade during the mile. I thought the coaches were really cool too. Coach Thielking and McWilliams were really nice. I didn’t really know who to talk to because I didn’t know anyone in Cross Country either, but I eventually met some nice people. Patrick, a senior that had a locker a few lockers down from my in the locker room, was very good at Cross Country. He would yell at me whenever I felt the urge to be lazy and I’m glad he did. Nick was also on the other side in the locker room and the three of us would usually talk before the practices. Nick was a lanky Sophomore who had an unusual sense of humor, but I liked that. Me and Nick were around the same skill level in Cross Country. Neither of us were really good, but I was glad I got to hang around both of them. Patrick was really good at cross country though. He always got way better times than me. One of the times we went to a tournament the three of us got bored and we wandered into some woods nearby. We just talked and tried to pass time until we had to run. We came across an abandoned sleeping bag with a bunch of pokemon cards and a lot of dirty clothes. We just stared at it all wondering why someone would leave something like that in a forest. After that we called the spot ‘Hobo palace’ and we wandered back to where the rest of the teammates were. We spent the rest of the time between when we had to run talking about what kind of person would leave those kind of things. After sitting around with Nick and Matt I figured out from the coach that we had to go soon, so I looked around to find a good place to change into my competition outfit. After scanning the area for a good place to change clothes I saw two really long lines of people waiting to go into a port-a-potty. After waiting a long time there was I was only waiting on the person before me to get out. When the door opened up the guy looked sick and I asked him “are you okay?” The kid said “I’m kind of sick…sorry.” My god, it smelled like something died in there, it was so horrible. I had to hold my breath while getting dressed in my Columbine outfit. After that was over with I went to sit back at my bag and got my nerves out before they called us to go to the starting line. The girls were running before us and they were just crossing the finish line, so I decided to go over to the finish line to root them on. Some of the girls were really attractive, so I didn’t mind watching them. After they had gone I went up to finish the race. I did pretty badly in the end, but I was still was glad that I was out the house and around people. When I got home I crashed and went to bed really early. Everyday when we were huddled up doing our stretches I saw this girl that looked really cool and cute. I was really nervous about actually going up and talking to her, so I worshipped from afar from a while. I didn’t know how to go up and say ‘hi’ because I figured it would be really awkward. Finally, one day I told myself that I really wanted to get to know this girl so I would go up and try to make small talk. She was by the sign and I figured that that was the perfect time to try to initiate conversation. My heart was beating really hard and my knees were shaking. I finally managed to say ‘hi’, but I didn’t know what to talk about. I had a bunch of thoughts going through my head, so I asked a bunch of questions that I thought would be good ice breakers, like asking questions about her and she gave one word answers. I was thinking “Oh my god, I am completely bombing this.” She looked like she didn’t know what to say and she inched away slowly (if you are reading this, sorry about writing this and i know you are a nice person). I was glad I finally got the guts and went up to talk to her, even though I didn’t do so well. As we got further into the year I learned that it was a smart idea to drink as much water as I could before Cross Country practices. Otherwise, I would get really bad cotton mouth. I also learned to fear two certain words while I was in Cross Country, “rebel hill.” I would always die when I went up that hill because it was usually 85 degress and up and we would do multiple sprints up the hill. I would always rush over to the cooler so I could get a drink before everyone else. Even though I died almost all the time when I did cross country, I was glad I got to get out and see people.

One of the other activities I tried out was Choir and the musical. Even though I had not ever been in any Choir group before my Freshman year, I had been to a lot of my sister’s concerts. She was the one that talked me into Choir. Before the freshmen year started I had to fill out what electives I wanted to go into. I had chosen everything except one class, so I asked my Mom and my Sister what a good class would be to take. They had suggested a lot of classes, but I didn’t want to take any of them. Finally, my sister had suggested I go into Choir. I told her that I hadn’t been in Choir before and I probably wouldn’t be too good at it, but I finally filled it in because I didn’t know what else to take. It actually turned out to be really fun. It was funny when Mr. Andres (senior) made fun of us when we were sucking really bad. He would make fun of the girls sometimes and sometimes he would make fun of us guys. We had a strong section because of the seniors that were in the class and needed credits. The seniors made the class interesting. In our base section there was this John Bright. It’s hard to describe him, but he was really cool. He talked about how he and some other guys pulled the plug on the piano while everyone was singing and how Mr. Andres had no idea what had caused the piano to stop. Joe Dreaden was about as tall as I was at the time but he had a lot of muscle and he wasn’t someone I would want to mess with. He acted like he was tough but I thought he was cool anyways. I had always watched concerts my Sister had been performing in, but it felt weird to be performing too. I quickly learned that the robes and stage lights make you really hot. The first time I was up there I thought about how my Sister always said it was like an oven on the stage. It felt cool to look into the crowd and know that they were there to listen to us. Later on in the year Mr. Andres needed more guys in the musical, so he asked us if we wanted to be in it. I jumped on the chance because I thought it would be another good opportunity to meet people. We did Fiddler on the Roof and I was in Chorus. We did a lot of work, but on my breaks I would make card houses or other card games with whoever was around. The teacher’s lounge was the place where everyone spent their time on their breaks. People would do anything from homework to watching TV or playing video games. One time this kid brought in his Sega Genesis and we all played against each other in Sonic. We did a lot of late nights, but it was time I had spent outside of my house.

About a month before homecoming rolled around I felt like I wanted to go to homecoming. I didn’t have any idea who I would ask, because there was no in particular I really felt like asking. I ended up going and I learned that I didn’t know how to dance, but it was all right because a majority of the guys I saw sucked also. I spent most of the night wondering if someone saw how bad I looked dancing. My date was really cool, but we were just friends after that.

By the time the year was almost over I realized I had made some progress with people and trying to be less awkward, but I still had a long way to go. Girls didn't scare the crap out of me as much as they did when I started freshman year. One day I asked myself “What qualities do I like in my friends or a girlfriend?” I thought the question would be easy, but it wasn’t. The more and more I thought about it I realized I didn’t have a definite answer for that. All of the social interaction I have ever had in highschool hopefully will help me answer this question, because even as a senior I have no clue.