Over The Rail

Cold rails with dirt in between, nothing but darkness up ahead.
Staring into the silence, I can’t help but think that with life I am so upwardly fed.
Looking for answers in the leagues that lie before me –
I can’t find any, at least none that are within my reach.
What do I do? Where do I go? I need some answers. I feel so alone.
There are no answers to be seen ahead of me,
but what about to my left?
As I turn my head to the left,
I see a small light in the distance.
Is this my answer? My flicker of hope?
Every few seconds the small light becomes less small –
almost as if it is inching its way towards me.
Bigger and bigger, my flicker of light is no longer a flicker –
but a blinding light that’s moving ever closer.
I panic – look to my right.
What answers lie that way?
All I see is the never ending darkness that I stared into before.
I look down to see the rails that should be rusted by my tears –
they lead me to the right –
away from the light.
Is this my answer? Or just a glimmer of anticipation?
Where do the rails lead me though?
I look again to my left only to realize the light is growing.
My heart starts to pound.
To the right I can run –
the rails will lead me somewhere that I can forget everything.
Along these rails I can run away for miles.
Run! Run!! Run!!!
I keep telling myself to run away – run from everything.
Go to the right and I can run away from all that’s going on.
I start to run – but I stop a few paces out.
Will running away really solve anything?
I turn back.
Blinded by the light – now a spotlight on me –
I stand there in fear.
Maybe if I don’t move it’ll all be okay – I won’t hurt anymore.
Once more, tears begin rapidly falling down my face –
my thoughts getting lost in the black branches being created.
I cannot move – I am stuck there – frozen – not knowing which way to go.
Which answer is the right one?
The one to the right or the one to the left?
Or is it the one that lies ahead?
Take one step to the right and run away from it all,
or take one to the left and not have to worry about it anymore?
Then there’s that third step I can take –
the one over the rail into the never ending darkness
where finding answers I before failed.
Only seconds to think and even less to act –
there is only one answer –
because help within the two others I would lack.
I close my eyes,
hoping not to once again fail,
stepping into the darkness –
I stepped over the rail…