I Want This

I want this.
I want this more than anything.
I close my eyes,
I want this to be real, not just a dream,
I want this more than I wanted that passing grade,
more than I wanted my life to end when all seemed lost.
But why?
Why do I want this?
I want this for all the wrong reasons.

I want this so that revenge may be taken,
maybe not revenge,
but payback,
for what I've been going through.

I want this so that it may be realized how it has effected me,
I want this so it'll be obvious enough for anyone to see.
I want this because it will open up a pair of eyes.
I want this to be real,
I want this to be the truth,
I want this to happen -
so I can grow away from my old roots.

I want this to happen so I might be shown love -
a love that's never been shown to me before.
Maybe even a love that won't end with my heart torn.
I want this because he doesn't care what he's done,
I want this, even though it was more his fault than it was mine.
I want this so that he will finally have consequence for his actions.

I want this because it's the unexpected.
I want this for all the wrong reasons.
I want this because it's a challenge I haven't yet faced.
I want this because with my fears I will be interlaced.
I want this so that my stress would ease...
or would it just ease my mind?

If wanting this is wrong, then I'm wrong, not right.
I want this to prove that I can and will win this fight.
I want this so that my life would be changed for the better.

I want this.
I want this more than anything.
I open my eyes...
into a dream turning into reality.