Upon Hearing of Another Death Last Night

Everything stops for a moment - my vision is blurred by the wall of heartbreak that is threatening to fall. Struggling to finish reading the screen, I take a deep breath and I fall to my knees. Fighting - trying not to let the wall be broken - but it hurts so bad that no wall could withhold it. Like glass the wall is shattered and heartbreak streams down my face. Banging my fists on the ground and heaving in sobs - how could his young life be so quickly robbed? Face down on the floor drowning in the puddle of hurt that has surrounded me – treading, but giving up - it's getting too hard to breathe. Drawing in my knees so close, I hug them tight, feeling that there is no hope. I squeeze my eyes shut - trying to make this all go away... It's not working, it's not working - it's like a never ending bad dream, except this isn't a dream it's reality. A reality that is too present in my life. This can't be real. This can't be happening. Not again. Not another one - Lord don't do this to me. I can't take it again, the hurt is just too much. Aren't you supposed to show compassion and love? My figures increase no matter how hard I fight it - by adding this one - that puts me at eight. A number I wish could be subtracted by eight. My heart can't take this kind of pain anymore - there's no longer enough of it to even be torn. Picking myself up, I crawl across the floor, not stopping til I look up and turn - my back now against the door. Trying to convince myself that my heart is liar, the sorrow cascades down from my fading blue sapphires. Hours go by and I glance at the clock - It's early in the morning, the time's a bit after 2 o' clock. Tears still are still flowing so I bury my face in my hands......this can't be happeneing to me again.