My Getaway Sky

This is it. I won’t change direction and I won’t change my mind. I’m leaving everything and the lingering disappointment behind. I’m leaving it all in my rearview mirror…all the times I’ve failed miserably to make my dad proud, after all I am just another face in a crowd. Right? I’m leaving behind that dreaded look that I’ve seen so many times, I just don’t think I could bear to once again put it in his eyes. I’m sick of always trying and never getting results – the only thing consistent are my dad’s subtle insults. Little does he know just how deep they cut – understanding imperfections he is doing anything but. Expectations he sets are never met – I try so hard but he never seems to see the effort that I put. I’m leaving all of that behind. I’m headed somewhere that my effort will be acknowledged, somewhere that I might be able to one day, some day, call home. Anywhere is better than here. The me that I am now isn’t good enough – if I leave I can find myself – the me that might finally be good enough. This life is a torch that I’m holding and it’s slowly burning up my arm – I’m running out of time to find myself. I want to find myself. But I can’t do that with disappointment always standing in my way or always having to worry about what my dad has to say. The only way I can do this – is to say goodbye – the only thing familiar will be my getaway sky.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way – you have helped me so much and I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for you but I need to take it from here. I’m sorry that I have to leave you all behind in the reflection of my aviators in my rearview mirror – but this is something that I have to do. I don’t know when I’ll be leaving or where I’ll be going, and I won’t be telling anyone – all I know is that once I pick up and go, I won’t be looking back.