Wishing Won't Do Me Any Good - They Only Come True In Fairy Tales

Don’t you ever wish that we could go back in time? Back to the times when things didn’t hurt as bad and things were easier to fix. When instead of playing drinking games we’d be playing uno or old maid or even pick up stix. Back to the times when the thing that hurt worst was merely a scraped knee, and the person you were didn’t matter – you were whoever you wanted to be. Back when a broken heart wasn’t even faint in our imagination, and good decision making hadn’t left on a train from the station.

But why am I using “we” when in reality I should be saying I, because if I wasn’t then I would certainly be telling no little white lie.

I want to go back to the times when I was daddy’s little girl, when nothing else in the world mattered but me and him, and my hair was all up in curls. The times that were so special like the daddy daughter dances, and our daddy daughter dates that took place long before any of my future romances. I want the times when I never disappointed you, and when the butterfly kisses that I gave you at night didn’t come in only ones but twos. The times when you’d tuck me into bed at night and then I’d say my prayers; I want those times when God seemed so close, because now I’m doubting if he’s even there.

I don’t want the times when it’s oh so hard to look you in the eye; I don’t want the times when I keep on failing, no matter how many times I try. I don’t want the times when my mistakes are the only things that are consistent, I don’t want the times when you no longer trust me and when trusting me you are resistant. I don’t want the times of me crying myself to sleep or sometimes even worse, and I don’t like that you’re not by my side to wipe away my tears when I feel hurt. I don’t want the times when I’ve caused you so much pain, trust me when I say this, I wish I could make it all just go away.

I wish that I could make all the pain I’ve caused you to feel be my burden instead of yours; I wish that it could stay that way forever and forever more. I wish that I could be the one, who puts the smile on your face, but instead I do the opposite and that smile of yours I erase. I wish that time could go back to the way things used to be, when I hadn’t disappointed you yet, and you were so proud of me. I want to go back to the times when the only thing I stole was a cookie before dinner time, because that’s more easily forgiven than breaking the heart of the father of mine.