Healing Process

The tears wouldn’t stop.
Flowing down my cheeks, down my chin,
Onto the floor of the room that I was sitting in.
Tears of pain and confusion, but mostly fear,
I didn’t want him to know,
I didn’t want him to hear.

I’ve put this off for far too long,
I thought that I could forever be strong.
Behind my mask, behind my barricade,
The strength in me began to fade.
My walls were crumbling inside,
But that’s the thing I was good at,
From all my emotions and my pain I would hide.
I’ve been hiding from the truth,
And running from my pain for years.
I can’t run forever,
The truth is now showing through my tears.

I want to be free.
I want to rid of this feeling of being empowered over.
I want to be able to see,
that I can get past the things that were.
I want to * “wake up one day with no secrets; nothing held in.
Wouldn’t that be great? Can you imagine?” *

A long road awaits me,
And I know that it won’t be easy.
A journey has brought me to where I am,
Yet through it all, I’ve been a mere grain of sand.
But with the help that I’ve got,
And my path chosen,
I’ll no longer be that tiny, forgotten grain of sand,
Maybe I’ll hold the power of the ocean.
This time it’s going to be sweet success,
Instead of the familiar failure;
and so begins the pro-longed healing process.

* Quote from Leyba *