As I read my memoir...

Hold back your tears
Don't let them see your fear
Why can't I find my breath
Sweet heavens my heart hurts
Breathing is so difficult
I read this over and over to defeat the tears
I knew this would be difficult but what else could I have written
How my father is never there
How I learned not to jump on the bed
How my mom is my hero
They are topics about me but they aren't me holding his hand and feeling the last beat of his pulse
They aren't about the man I loved more then anything
Heavens stop these tears from falling
How many others suffered like me
How many others know my pain
Grandpa are you here with me
This memoir to you does not justify how great you were and still are to me
My memories are haunting me again
Heh, those puppies I just pushed them together on Sunday Grandpa
But its not the same without you
This time I fought back tears
I didn't laugh
Grandpa I need you
I have forgotten how to laugh
Grandpa I am crying...you always told me to smile
Grandpa this memoir I read to this class is helping me heal
Yet healing is painful
Every time I try to hide from this healing truth I run farther from happiness
Heavens, why do these tears fall
My strength is faltering
I'm almost at the end
Thank the heavens
Maybe now I can smile at the world
Maybe now I can be strong enough
Strong enough to be free of this memories haunting ghost
Maybse now I can smile as I tell my Grandpa goodbye
Maybe now I can look out at my peers as I read my memoir.

Grandpa, Grandma I love you now and forever. Goodbye.