Today's forecast: Rainy, with no chance of sun

Crash! *Flicker of light* BOOM!! Rain drops start pouring from the dull, grey sky. Mothers rushing their kids inside, couples go dashing to their cars; everyone’s heading for cover to stay dry – everyone but me. I find myself just standing – staring – nothing’s going right, and everything’s a mess. Rain drops splashing all around me – people look – but I don’t see. I spin and spin with my head towards the sky. I drop to my knees with my eyes squeezed shut. I bang my fist on the ground and scream in frustration, anger, whatever it was. The tears start to fall – I’ve just had enough. From my knees to my stomach I slowly fall, lying there, on the cold, wet, clammy concrete. My shoulder’s heaving in deep sobs. ‘It’s just not fair!’ I scream, as I hit the ground once more. I forgave him. I told him that I still did, and always would, love him – nothing seemed to work, and before my eyes, he started deteriorating. I wanted him to open up; to tell me what was wrong. I would’ve listened! But I guess I just wasn’t good enough. He accepted my decision well, or so I thought. He went through a drastic change – he seemed so unhappy – but I thought he was just playing a game. His laughter wasn’t the same. There was fear in his eyes. I didn’t know my touch made it hard for him to breathe or made him cry at night. He needed to talk to someone, and that someone was me, but he thought I wouldn’t care, so he couldn’t release his fears. In the blink of an eye, he was gone. He couldn’t hang on anymore, so he just let go. I’m sorry that you couldn’t hold on. I’m so very sorry – it’s completely my fault – if only I stayed with you; said ‘I love you’ back, you’d still be here, and your presence I wouldn’t lack. I remember that day so clear – the day I found out – filled with depression, confusion, and fear. Two years ago today, you drew your last breath and *snap* you were gone. I never got the chance to say goodbye, so long. Rain is falling outside my window; down pouring – I wish I could see him. Oh how I miss him. Leyba – you’ve asked us what we see through our window – today it is a sunny spring day – but not for me. That’s not what I see through my window. Today, is the same as the day that I lost him, it is pouring rain and full of pain and sorrow. It's a gloomy, rainy day, with no chance of sun.