How to put on a T-Shirt

Ok, we'll start at the beginning so everyone can follow. Walk to your closet, drawer, floor, or wherever you may keep a t-shirt. I recommend walking not running because when you run, you up the chances of falling. Then once you get there and see a shirt that looks clean pick it up. Now bring the shirt close to your face and smell it. If it doesn't reek then continue to the next step. If it does smell bad throw it on your floor and go for another shirt. Continue until you have found a shirt that smells satisfactory. Make sure your shirt is right-side-out. Usually the seems go on the inside. All logos will go on the outside. Now all shirts have a front and a back, and if you can't figure out which is which I suggest that you stop immediately and admit yourself into an asylum and get some major help. Now slip your right arm in the small hole on the right side. Switch and repeat with your left arm. Here comes the hard part, put your head in the big hole in the middle. Pull shirt downward. Congratulations you have successfully learned how to put on a t-shirt!