Hate...?

I hate that
no matter how bad you treat me,
my feelings inside
for you still grow.
Every harsh word said,
Every back turned.
I try to let you see,
but everytime i just get burned.
I hate that
I need your touch,
and the warmth of you there.
Whenever I am in your arms,
I feel like I'm floating on air.
Everyday seems so
different than the last,
One day you are right next to me,
but the next, I'm just the past.
I hate how
well you know me.
Every mistake, every fear.
I hate how
it's you who's causing all these tears.
I hate all
my late night phone calls,
in times of desperate need,
and you lying to me, saying,
"Why'd you do it?...You know
you can count on me".
I hate it when
you lie to me,
and you know
I know the truth.
Don't give me
all this bull shit!
How can you
be so cruel?
I hate how
you play favorites,
and that it's different everyday.
I hate that
what hurts me the most,
are the things that you don't say.
I hate the
way I feel
when I catch the gaze
of your
easy-to-get-lost-in-
brown eyes.
I hate how
you used to understand me,
and
I hate that it's for you I would die.
The ironic thing is,
I don't hate you at all,
I just hate the fact that I let myself fall.
Writer's cramp is setting in, so I guess I must go.
I doubt that you'll ever read this,
but if you do,
then my true feelings you will know.