My White Coat

32 degrees outside
I checked at the end of my car ride
it's just odd that I still have that memory to say
because at that point nothing special marked the day
I felt all was normal when I walked inside
but that feeling would soon subside
they were sitting there in the kitchen chairs
I could tell something was wrong by the uncomfortable stares
"have you talked to your Mom"? my Grandma said
what's going on I thought in my head
Come with me, we need to talk
and then down the hallway I made the long walk
we were both in when she closed the door
and soon my heart would hit the floor
you know your Grandpa's Doctors appointment today?
"yeah" was all I could think to say
well it didn't really go so well
"what" I begged her to tell
there were lessions on his x-ray
what the hell is a lession anyway?
It could mean some really bad news
there are a lot more tests coming to prove
but it looks like the answers will be bleak
and not the one's we wish to seek
I looked up at her as she said cancer
but most of the rest is just a blur
of the memories that popped into my head
of my Grandpa coming to get me out of bed
we'd sit there together and watch Popeye
when it was over he went to work and I'd wave him goodbye
or the ones of him babysitting me
Perry Mason was there glowing off the t.v.
I'd be really good and then at about 9:
I would bat those "baby blues" of mine
I wanted ice cream so off we'd be
got him every time. He couldn't resist little me
or all those days he picked me up from school
I loved those days I totally ruled
when all the other Grandpas came
all of my friends felt completely lame
but I never felt like a nerd
in my Grandpa's 72' Thunderbird
or those times I went with him to fill up
the gas tank and that plastic cup
I'd look at the purple skittles then up at him
he'd nod his head and everytime I got them
I'd throw the green and pink ones out the window
he would just smile and shake his head no
or all the meals we sat and ate
when he still wa(r)shed off my plate
but I wasn't allowed to leave, because there was still milk in my cup
until it was gone at the table I was stuck
I was hurled out of my memorys
thrusted back into reality
you should go out there and see him
I told her I couldn't keep the emotions in
I went into the kitchen and gave him a hug
couldn't stop the tears from hitting the rug
my Mom came "Do you want to talk about the day"?
I stared out the window I had nothing to say
"Don't you want to take off your coat, it's 11:30 you're not going anywhere"
still looking out the window nothing broke my stare
what I really wanted to do, was rewind the day to the mornings dew
pull it out of the closet and put on that white coat
before I ever felt the pain in this poem I wrote.