I wanna reach

Into your soul. Cliche! I mean, I want to reach into your mind and ask one question, maybe two because I talk a lot. I want to know why, why did you have to now? Why did I have to push you in your wheelchair? I want to reach in you brain, stop all your blood vessels from constricting and have you with me longer. I wasn't sure I'd see you yesterday. I got so scared when you weren't in your office. I said Daddy, Dad please stop, please just be sitting there where I can come sit on your lap and feel safe. Your baby, so safe, I wanna reach and make your pain disappear, give you feeling back in your hand. I want to stop you from crying and I want to feel like your baby daughter. I wanna reach into our family history, stop it from ever spreading and stop me from getting it. I don't want to reach for the shaving cream to shave your beard for you or reach for the tissue when a sad commercial plays. I hold my breath everytime I see your body lying in bed, wait for you to move. And talk. I wanna reach over and take that lawn mower that destroyed my manly, tough father. You didn't know, you were just trying to help and I couldn't see you. I'm sorry I cried in front of you. I didn't get to you fast enough and you couldn't talk, it was like my heart was torn into a million pieces, your face to one side. I want to make you better again.