the wall

i never fully recovered.
the past events, scramble my brain.
it takes me back.
not to something good.
not to something bad.
but something so horrible,
so upsetting, that i cant bare to see the sun.
i cant explain, how close to home this hit me.
when the news hits, you laugh, you cant believe it.
you put it aside.
word gets around. you start to understand.
you are the only one not crying.
though its different when you see it.
you have these emotions, they want to spill out.
they are calling from within.
one thing can set you off.
a word, a memory.
you start to cry,
your knees hit the ground,
so hard you knee caps want to shadder.
your hand find their way together,
you want to pray,
god needs to know you feel.
you are a class act.
you get right back up.
wash away your tears.
cover your face.
walk tall.
understanding you cant be weak.
you have to the that leader.
they need to understand.
you are everyones wall.
the only man they can come to.
their comfort.
their brave soul.